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May 2008

"You should come see my house in Spain..."

The end of May has arrived.  The weather is warming.  These are the days when Ten Happy Things are more important than ever.  I hate the warm weather.  I hate the summer.  It's just a miserable span of time for me.  I mean, it has its high points.  There's baseball, and tennis, and my pool.  It's just so damn hot.  I hate hot…..and to me, anything over 70 degrees is hot.  So, that aside, here is May's Ten Happy Things…

10.  My mom is in Europe.  She was working this chef thing at the Cannes Film Festival in France and now she's in Italy with my Dad, who flew out to Rome to meet her after she was done with her Cannes gig.  She's been gone for like a month.  It's been so nice and peaceful and quiet.  It's great.  She's having a great time and I'm enjoying the quiet.  Winners all around.  The coolest part, though, is that my Grandma is here staying at my mom's house with my younger siblings while my parents are away.  That's awesome.  I've lived most of my life in a different state than my Gram.  Any extra time with her is always a bonus.

9.  I am surrounded by pregnant chicks.  Everyone is friggin pregnant.  It's so cool.  The chick who does my hair is pregnant.  My friend Kelly is pregnant.  Kim who I work with is pregnant.  That's my favorite one.  Kim is like the cutest pregnant girl in the history of the world.  She's really compact as a person.  She's just this petite little thing.  Kim and her husband, Tom, win the World's Most Compact Couple award.  It's so awesome.  They're just these cute little people living in their cute little condo doing cute little things.  Now Kim has this cute little Mommy tum to go with the rest of her cute little self.  It's so great.  I love pregnant people.  I love having the opportunity to share in their happy time.  It's so fun.  This item apparently wins the Most Gratuitous Use of the Word 'So' Award.  Deal with it.

8.  Movies have been awesome lately.  Two, specifically.  Earlier this month, I saw Iron Man.  I saw Iron Man like three times.  In one weekend.  I didn't originally plan to do so but it just kind of worked out that way.  It's a long story.  Anyway, it was totally worth seeing three times.  It was AWESOME.  Not only was it true to story and aesthetically brilliant, but Robert Downey, Jr. was just….perfect.  He WAS Tony Stark.  It was remarkable.  I mean, really.  To add a little flavor to the sauce, Downey was so hot, it was ridiculous.  He's always been a relatively good looking chap.  In Iron Man, though, he's an inferno of hotness.  There's this scene where he's all in a deigo-tee and pajama pants and his ass in these pants was just….I can't even find words.  It was really a treat.  So, you know, there's that.  Just last week, Indiana Jones came back to the screen after a long, long, long hiatus.  Despite the fact that several people have announced their disappointment over the film, I thought it was great.  It was entirely fun.  I mean, it was ridiculous in the way that every Indy film is ridiculous where you're just rolling your eyes because you simply cannot believe the situations he gets himself into and then out of (I mean, who the hell survives a nuclear blast by hiding in a refrigerator?)……but it was fantastic nonetheless.  Plus, it had Shia LeBeouf (or however you spell it).  He's my new favorite guy.  He's so good.  He's going to be the next huge movie star.  Just you watch.  The only thing that would have made the movie entirely complete would have been a cameo by Short Round.  Alas, no Short Roundness was to be had…but it was still a good film.  Totally worth a big screen viewing. 

7.  My pool is open.  I have a new filter for said pool, which means that I should get much more enjoyment out of the thing than I did last year.  The water is still just above freezing but the pool is open, the filter is filtering, and the water is clear.  I need a new float for this year's floating activities.  Then I'll be totally set.

6.  Sing along with me.  Oh, oh, oh oh oh….oh, oh, oh oh…..oh, oh, oh oh oh….the right stuff!  I've totally got tickets.  I'm totally going.  I'm totally jazzed.

5.  The French Open is underway.  You all know about my mild tennis obsession.  The French Open is my least favorite of the four grand slams but it's still pretty fantastic.  Especially on my kick ass TV.  My favorite players are all still in too, which is a bonus.  It's early though.  Nevertheless, having Grand Slam tennis to follow is a nice little bright spot in my day.

4.  Keeping with the French Open motif, I have become internationally famous via the French Open.  During the day, I listen to Roland Garros Radio online.  It's the same two guys every year that call the matches over the radio for those of us who have jobs and can't watch during the day due to the time difference.  These guys are hilarious.  They encourage listeners to email them.  They'll ask what match the listeners want them to call, or they'll ask trivia questions you can answer and win prizes from, or they'll ask questions about the players like why is Novak Djokovic called "Nole"….and then people from all over the world email them.  The get emails from Europe, the US, Australia, Jamaica….all over.  For two consecutive days, they read my email on the air.  They even said "from Meredith Oliver in Chicago" and everything.  They read my emails to the whole world.  Today, they even commented on my name.  I sent an email explaining why Novak Djokovic is called "Nole" and they read it and then they were like "well, I guess that's our Serbian lesson for the day!  Although, Meredith Oliver doesn't sound much like a Serbian name.  Oh well."  Yeah, that non-Serbian Meredith Oliver is me.  I'm so famous.  You're so jealous.  ;-)

3.  Staying on the sports vein, The Players Championship (which is kind of a big deal PGA Tournament for those of you who don't follow golf at all) was played earlier this month.  My favorite player…who has been my favorite player ever since the first time I saw him play in 1999…won the Championship.  It was his first really big deal win.  He's won loads of other stuff but never a Major and never something as big as TPC.  Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you El Toro, El NiƱo, the Don Juan of Golf…Sergio Garcia!  Oh, hell flipping yes.  Mr. Head to Toe Adidas, Sergio Garcia.  He won in a playoff on the Island Green.  I danced all over my living room.  I jumped up and down.  I laughed at the Tiger fans who pouted because Mr. Knee Surgery Woods wasn't even playing (a fact Sergio acknowledged when they gave him the trophy… "First, I'd like to thank Tiger for not being here.  That made it a little bit easier.")  Call him a choke artist.  Call him a cry baby.  Call him whatever you want.  I don't even care….because I get to call him a winner.  Ha!  Hopefully, TPC will be the first in a string of wins.  Hopefully, it will be the beginning of the path to his first Major.  Now THAT would be something worth dancing around my living room about!

2.  Speaking of Sergio….I think the four consecutive days of watching him play on TV lodged the man into my subconscious.  Well, I don't think it did, I know it did.  I had the BEST Sergio Garcia dream.  It was like this super intense sex dream and it was great.  I woke up all out of breath.  I'm not embarrassed to say it.  It was that good.  I'll say it again.  I had a friggin awesome Sergio Garcia sex dream.  In my dream, I was in Vegas with four of my girlfriends celebrating something.  My birthday, I think.  It was the girls as they are now and Sergio how he is now but me when I was like 23 or 24.  Right, so, we're in this martini bar place and Sergio comes in with this little group of people and sits down like five tables from us.  So, he sends a round of drinks over to our table and then we send a round of drinks over to his table and then he comes over and introduces himself.  He was all "hi, I'm Sergio Garcia" and smiles at me with his hand held out to shake and I was all "buh buh buh buh buh".  Melted.  Totally.  Done.  Some other stuff happened after that which I can't quite recall but then this Shakira song comes on (how a Shakira song got in my dream, I'll never know) and he grabs my hand and he's like "let's dance."  It was like Dancing with the Stars.  He and I were like the best salsa dancers in the history of Las Vegas martini bars.  We were salsa dancing all over the place.  Then he was like "you should come see my house in Spain" and in true dream style, whammo!  We were off!  We get in this Ferrari and drive to his house in Spain.  From Las Vegas.  And it only took like four minutes to get there because Sergio drives really fast.  Across oceans, apparently.  In a Ferrari.  It just kind of went from there.  It was my second favorite dream of all time.   My first favorite dream of all time involves a wallaby, a helicopter, and Andrea and I blowing up my ex's mansion…but that's another story.

1.  When I was growing up, all the way through high school and most of college, I didn't have a whole lot of female friends.  Girls suck usually, especially in high school.  I had a couple of close girlfriends but not like a group of girls who have been my "girls" for a long stretch of time.  Most of my friends have always been boys.  It wasn't until I got older…into my twenties and now my thirties…that I started to develop real bonds with women.  That being said, I haven't had a lot of "girls trips".  I know women who have had loads of them, which seems to be the norm.  I've had, like, three.  Total.  My whole life.  I went on one this past weekend……and it was one of the greatest times ever.  I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard for so many consecutive days.  We went up to Lake Geneva and did a spa day and a nice dinner and shopping and lots of wine drinking.  We drank ghetto sangria.  We talked about bikini waxes and butt massages and boys.  There was even evidence of doing each other's hair and make-up like we were 13 again or something.  It was really the best time.  They want to do it again next year in Napa.  I have this thing about not going to California…like ever.  I may be willing to waive that rule for another girls' trip.  It was that great of a time for me.  :-)

So, there's the list.  Do with it what you will.  I shall return with another installment next month when I'm sure to be much crankier as a result of much hotter weather.  Foo.  ;-)

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