April 2008

A person can develop a cold...

April was kind of a slow month.  The warmer it gets, the harder it is for me to find things to be overjoyed about.  Ha!  Yes, I know, I'm weird.  You don't have to say it.  I hate the damn warm weather.  That day that comes every spring (which is a mysterious season that lasts for about three days in Chicago) when I finally have to put my winter clothes away and take my summer clothes out is a sad, sad day in my house.  Nevertheless, even though temperatures above 70 degrees are looming closer and closer like that horrible black orb of death in The Fifth Element, here are Ten Happy Things for April!  :-)

10.  Being a Met fan in this city is not an easy way to go about your life.  Since the introduction of inter-league play, the Mets only come to Wrigley once a year.  Some golden seasons give me Mets games against both the Cubs and the White Sox.  Unfortunately, that is not the case this season.  So, the Mets come to Chicago once this year and for only two games.  I've mentioned this before.  You know the drill.  Here's the happy thing:  I procured tickets to both games.  One set eight rows behind home for April 21^st (thanks to my immeasurably awesome buddy, Barksdale) and one set somewhere in the infield terrace section for April 22^nd.  Mind you, I ended up getting unreasonably ill the week the Mets were here and I only managed to get to the one game (I don't care if I was dying of leprosy, there was no way I was missing those seats on the 21^st) in which the Cubs beat the Mets something like 7 to 1…….but it was a great time.  Any time spent at the ballpark watching the Mets play is a great time and I was able to get some great photos of David Wright and Jose Reyes, which is an added bonus.  The other set of tickets I had to give to my Dad and my Brother because, really, I was just too damn sick.  More on that momentarily.  I'm not unhappy that I gave the tickets up.  It was crap weather that day and the Cubs slaughtered the Mets yet again.  But my Dad reports that they had a great time so at least my joy was spread about.

9.  I mentioned the sick thing a minute ago.  I wasn't kidding.  I was really, REALLY sick.  I knew it was going to happen.  That whole trip to New York for my Great-Gram was a recipe for Mer illness.  Germy environments, limited sleep, stress.  Whammo!  Sick.  I ended up in the urgent care on a Sunday morning because I woke up and was literally unable to get a proper load of oxygen into my lungs.  It was like a gorilla pitched a tent on my chest and moved right in.  Here's where the happy thing comes in.  I am happy and grateful for antibiotics.  I know this is stupid.  Put it into perspective.  I recently finished watching the seven-part John Adams miniseries on HBO (more on that in a sec).  I finished the last three episodes  – thanks to the greatest invention besides air conditioning, Tivo – while ingesting my weight in juice and soup on my couch under a blankie.  It occurred to me while watching that they all lived in a time when the flu could literally kill you.  It made me happy that I live in a time and a place where I can have horrible infections easily remedied by taking a couple of pills once a day.  It was a terrible inconvenience but, all in all, it's pretty sweet that a person can get that ill and trot off to the urgent care on a Sunday to find a nice doctor who can tell you what your problem is and then give you some stuff to make you better lickety split.  I could be dead.  I'm not though….so I've got that going for me.

8.  Despite the fact that I fully acknowledge that stupid warm weather is right around the stupid warm weather corner, winter has really grappled on to 2008 like an angry cat avoiding a bath.  Every time I think it's finally blown itself all out, we get a nice 48 degree day.  It snowed in the city the other day.  Not like a blizzard or anything….but it was definitely a wintry mix.  In late April.  Hell yeah.

7.  John Adams.  Holy shit, what an awesome production.  I'm a bit of a Revolutionary War history buff.  The Civil War and WWII are all well and good but I really dig history from the Colonial and Revolutionary periods.  Hey, I just realized what I wrote.  "The Civil War and WWII are all well and good…."  Right, Mer.  Wars are all well and good.  Jackass.  ANYWAY…I've read a lot about that period in American history, specifically about America's totally unsung heroes, the Adams family.  Not the goth folks from sixties television.  The second and sixth presidents of this country and their families.  It's cool to me that John Adams is finally getting his little bit of limelight.  If you didn't watch the series, you should really consider giving it a look.  It's SO well done.  I really enjoyed watching it. 

6.  Staying with the good old boob tube, Deadliest Catch has returned!  And not only has it returned, it's returned on Discovery Channel HD which means I get to watch bad ass crab fishermen in high definition wide screen.  I get to watch Edgar Hansen's hot as hell fisherman ass on high definition wide screen.  Holy chocolate frogs, I love this show.  It's so cool.  It occurred to me the other day while watching the most recent episode that the show is the same damn thing every damn episode…..and it's awesome.  It never gets old.  It's the same guys on the same boats doing the same things and catching the same crabs (I know, I said it, move on) and it never gets tiring to watch.  I want to be that maniac climbing around on the stacks of pots chaining things down while the boat is lurching all around.  Way killer cool. 

5.  Samwise the Gamgee Hound Dog is still with me.  I introduced him to you all last month as Foster Dog.  He's still Foster Dog.  He's just got a million more names now.  He'll be lucky if he knows his actual name by the time he's done staying with me.  He's Samwise Gamgee, he's Samson, he's Sambone, he's Samuel McSamerson, he's Corky, he's Cletus, he's the Little Man, he's Sir Sammy the Wuss Baby.  He answers to all these names.  He's the funniest dog ever.  Every night when I come home from work, he runs all around like a maniac.  He runs up to me and jumps up on my leg and whimpers with glee and then sprints all over the house.  He's terrified of my cats.  He walks backwards when he barks.  He is utterly confused by my pond outside.  He snores louder than most people I know.  He cracks me up.  Everyone should have a Samwise the Gamgee Hound Dog….even if only for a little while.  They're great fun.

4.  I've already alerted you to the fact that New Kids on the Block are coming.  I've expressed my immeasurable joy at this.  The joygasm continues.  The Chicago tour date has been announced.  They will be here in October.  VIP packages are available.  I will be procuring one.  My life will be complete.

3.  My little brother's baseball season has begun.  I love going to his games.  I love it for one reason above all others….the looks on the faces of opposing pitchers when he comes up to the plate.  Dominic is a big boy.  He's 13 and he's taller than me…..WAY taller than me.  He's like this giant boy.  He's a full head or more taller than almost everyone else in his age group.  When he comes up to bat for the first time, the unfortunate kid on the mound always gets this 'holy shit' look on his face.  It's friggin awesome.

2.  Reconciliation.  Reconciliation is a good thing.  When people finally get their heads out of their asses and are fully honest with each other after a long, long time of not being so, good things can happen.  You should try it.  It's a really fabulous phenomenon.  I've seen it.  It's pretty groovy. 

1.  I encountered the funniest thing in the grocery store the other day.  I'm sauntering down an aisle and, out of the corner of my eye, I spy a can of niblets featuring that little dude from the Dora the Explorer show.  Before I continue, let me just say that "Dora the Explorer" is the worst rhyme in the history of the English language.  I just had to say that.  Moving on…  So, I see this can of niblets with the Dora dude on the label…Diego, I think his name is.  So, I turn my head to get a better look and what does the label say?  Mexicorn!  Wait, Mexicorn, you say?  Yes.  MEXICORN!  I laughed myself sick.  It's canned corn with bell peppers mixed in with a little Hispanic boy on the label and they call it Mexicorn.  If that's not brilliance in advertising, I don't know what is.  I laughed so hard.  I had to sit down, I was laughing so hard.  It was the best laugh I've had in a while.  It was, like, the highlight of my week.  Sad life I live, I know.

So, there we are.  Ten Happy Things.  And on time!  I'm not late or anything….so you all can back up off my grill.  Tee hee….  *wink*